It has been a year since I last posted on this blog. 
But I haven't been sure what to post, a lot has happened. We've bought a house, we now have a puppy, moved churches a few times, been on holiday, decorated the house. So many things. 

I guess the one thing you could say, is God has been a constant. That is wonderful. It's been such a roller coaster with my mental health and to be able to say God is a constant is what has helped me the most it is the most comforting thing.

My mother in law shared the most comforting and hardest to settle with passage at church on Sunday. First Jesus said store up treasures in heaven, then he goes on to say: 
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

How do you managed to live these truths out. Because it's easy to know the theology. We know the facts, but on Monday, Tuesday, on dark days when I can't get out of bed, when I'm in a room full of people and anxious thoughts come in. 

The only answer I can give is by the spirit living in me. I have to trust that by God working in me, I can daily begin to be shaped to trust him more and more. It is not something that I can do myself, it is all up to my father, to work in me. He will protect me, he will nourish me, most of all he will provide spiritual food for me. I must only seek his kingdom, to seek what he wishes for me to do, to serve him. He will provide the rest. 

So how do I live these truths out? Continuous prayer, Ask God to work in me to draw me into his comfort and teach me to hand him my anxiety.

This is not an overnight change, this will take my whole life and is a continuous work in me. But I need to take comfort that God is my constant, God will sustain me. Everything else may change, shift, move. God will not. I must rest in that truth.

God meant it for good!

A while ago I put this verse on my Instagram page from Genesis 50 v 20: 

"You meant it for evil but God meant it for the saving of many!" 

So often I feel we can look around this world and ask How can God allow this to happen? But this verse reminded me that God looks after his children, he is shaping us and growing us to be more like him. We as humans have a heart problem, we are unable to be perfect, we are sinful people who need rescuing.
But who can rescue humanity? Clearly not a human because we are all messed up right?

Well, God came down from heaven as a man, fully God and fully man and lived a perfect life, he defeated death and was raised to the Father's right hand. Who better then to take the punishment for our wrongdoings?

If God wanted that much to save us that he would be able to send his only son to die to save us, then how can you think that he would want to hurt us? God surely just wants to shape us to show us what it looks like to be one of his people.

Hebrews 2v11 is one of my favourite verses in the bible and I'm going to leave it with you to ponder and reflect on but I hope you find it as encouraging as I do!

"Both the one who makes people holy and those who are holy are holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters."

Shaking up my Faith

Myself and a friend have just begun reading through Jen Wilkin's new book together None Like Him which is an exciting and challenging read so far.
I'd not heard of the wonderful Jen Wilkin until my friend showed me her blog, so I started to read through some of the posts. I have never felt more challenged and inspired to get stuck into being more proactive with my faith! Jen has a wonderful practical way of challenging your thinking and your faith.

Now I wouldn't say I was passive with my faith, but I had realised quite much how I'd got into a monotonous routine and that I'd forgotten to be joyful in my quiet times and prayer life and serving for the LORD.
Because honestly, God is AWESOME and He deserves to have 100% of everything! My joy, my love, my time, my energy, my all. The hymn that says Demands my soul, my life, my all. Has never been more true and such a kick up the backside! I would urge you to spend 10 minutes of your day to go over to Jen's blog http://jenwilkin.blogspot.co.uk/ and read through some of her posts. I would think she would graciously challenge you too!

If you have more time, invest in her book, |None Like Him or Women of the Word. Both of which I am greatly enjoying and are so well written for refreshing your quiet times and approach to God!

So I urge you to read to read one of the above, or even just have a think and pray into what you can do to spice up your quiet time or prayer time, because we must rejoice! Rejoice the LORD has come!

Reflections of Proverbs 31

This week I’ve been looking at Proverbs 31 the Epilogue bit, and really trying to pray into it and reflect on it. So here are a few of my thoughts.

To begin with I had to take away my selfish attitude and realise this isn’t about me or what I can be as a noble wife in the future, but the example Jesus sets here to the church. Remember ALL of the Old Testament points to Jesus and tells us about His character and His mission, so this must also have the focus on Jesus.

Secondly the bible talks about the church being married to God so this could also be a reflection on the behaviour of the church as a whole in it’s service to the Lord. It’s strange picture language for the church as a whole but as you begin to break it down it has similarities to preparations and harvest which is the work Jesus sends us out to do really in the Great Commission.

Finally of course it applies when thinking personally about growth in my own personal character with the help of the Holy Spirit. If I’m striving to be Christ-like and this is pointing to Christ’s character then surely this is something that, with the Grace of God, I should be striving for also. Even in my role in church service and discipleship this is something also I should reflect on.

Now when I read Proverbs 31 I can say:

• Wow, Jesus is amazing 
• Oh man, I’m rubbish!
• Thankfully God is gracious and I can ask Him to help me to grow in this!

SWAK: Betraying Jesus in our daily life

Sorry for the controversial heading but can you say I'm wrong?

I know I'm guilty of doing the same, not just saying we don't believe but maybe just not standing up for Jesus as we should.
Please stick with me as I work through a few challenging questions to strengthen my faith, and hopefully yours too.

Let's begin with what we know:

We are all sinners.

We can be forgiven if we ask.

BUT

Do we use this as an excuse for our sin?

Do now pay later?

Will we follow Jesus to the cross?

Will we be Peter, asking for forgiveness?

Or Judas?

So when we sin, do we feel crippled with guilt until we ask for forgiveness? Or do we just remember as we go to bed that out of habit we should ask for Jesus to forgive everything we've done wrong, the end. 

Remember that Judas betrayed Jesus, he handed Him over to the authorities, but it would seem he showed no remorse. However Peter also denied Jesus three times, but Peter asked for forgiveness, he accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and went out to spread the Good News! 

We must decide when we sin, will we follow Jesus to the cross like Peter, or will we betray Him like Judas.

I hope that this Easter time like me, you can commit to being a Peter not a Judas and celebrate Jesus death and resurrection and spread the fantastic news that HE IS RISEN!

The Mission in Sewing

Today I attended a sewing club that my mum goes to. There are only four of them that go, three Christians and a non Christian. It's not intentionally an outreach, however naturally it is one.

This is because we are all missionaries.

Some people would see this as a very bold statement but it's true! Anyone who knows their bible will tell you, we are not of this world. We are only here for a short period of time, here to tell people the amazing news of Jesus Christ! Of his salvation and wonderful, gracious love. 

Now this sewing club I went to today, without forcing any form of bible based conversation we ended up discussing the question; "How can God allow suffering?" a very difficult topic, but the non-christian was the one who brought it up and God had prompted that and placed us there to be His missionaries. 

You don't have to go abroad to tell people about Christ, yes the work of OM and other mission groups is fantastic and if you have the facility then go and do it! But don't be disheartened, mission is also on your doorstep! 

The Lord has placed you exactly where he wants you to be.

So take what he has given you. We all have been given gifts, just remember to use them.

You can even be a missionary just by sewing.

The Book that gave my Faith a Lift

Reading "Passion" by Mike McKinley:

I was recommended this book by one of the leaders in Berea at Maidwell 1, Pete Matthew and nearly a year later I really felt that my walk with Christ needed a kick up the butt so I pulled it off my rather extensive book shelf and began reading it on the train home. It has really helped to pull me up already (when writing this I've only read the first chapter) and I wanted to share it! So I decided to write this as I go along and almost openly discuss how it's shaping my faith and my personal reactions to the book whilst they are fresh and true.

I knew straight away on reading the dedications that it was a Christian hearted book because he asks for the book to shape a select group of people's hearts. This is what any Christian would want and straight away I felt encouraged to make a difference in myself and then pass this book onto someone else.

Only £5.03: https://www.thegoodbook.co.uk/passion

Introduction:

In the introduction the author talks about our attitudes towards Jesus death and how it affects our lives using a football ticket analogy. We can treat the cross like a ticket to and even football game that we are carrying around in our pocket. We're really excited about it, but we won't need it until we get to the stadium. I know I often think like this and it's an easy trap to fall into but later on the author discusses how we are to live for Christ through our whole time on earth to reflect his graciousness to others in the world who do not understand what the cross means for us. He finishes the introduction talking about how amazed Christians are by this and how we will never fully understand God's plan but we are not supposed to, because we are not God. Finally he finishes with one of my favourite verses in the bible; to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1 v 21) We will gain so much when we die, eternal life and a perfect relationship with God, however, what Christ wants is for us to live out a life for him and tell the world the great news!

At the back of this book there is an eight day reading plan to allow time for reflection and meditation on what you have read and really think through the impact on our lives, I have decided to follow this plan and see how it goes.

Chapter one The Cup:

He begins with a chapter called The Cup, it focuses specifically on Luke 22 v 39-41 where Jesus goes up the Mount of Olives to pray, leaving the disciples and little while away so that he can be alone with His Father. Mike shows us how we relate to the disciples in this chapter with our misplaced priorities, the disciples are supposed to be praying that they would not fall into temptation (v40) however instead they fall asleep, and as the author says, when life is overwhelming, I often find it easier to sleep than to pray. It would seem that when the disciples fall asleep Jesus realises that He will go through is completely alone. Christians often talk about Jesus taking The Cup, but I've never really understood it, until now. Going back to the Old Testament in Jeremiah "Take from my hand this cup filled with the wine of my wrath" The Cup in a nutshell is a symbol of God's perfect and holy hatred for sin. We all deserve God's wrath and that cup fits us all perfectly. Reading over the passage again that this chapter is based upon Jesus anguish and pain I had to just stop and think. In the sub-section entitled The First Sip the author makes you look deeply at what Jesus is going through Just the taste, just the anticipation of that wrath was enough to make Jesus fall to the ground and sweat drops like blood, how much worse was His actual experience at His crucifixion the next day? I had to take a moment at this point and seriously think, think of my most painful experience and times that by a billion and it wouldn't even be close, that is just horrible, but it's not even the half of it. Thinking about the fact that Jesus didn't just leave and run away but he walked closer to the city where he was going to be killed. That is true obedience and as the author quite rightly says, and actually this was my first big kick-up-the-butt moment; the point is that you and I should realise we are not like Jesus, that we don't love and forgive and trust and obey the way that we should. We don't need an inspiring example we need a saving substitute. That for many Christians is a huge shock factor, the realisation that we are not to try to be Jesus, but we are to accept his substitution. That doesn't mean to say that we should just do what we want for the rest of our lives and use it as a Get Out Of Jail Free Card, but we mustn't think any of our saving is our own doing. It is all down to Jesus. We just live to show people how much of a saving gracious God we have.  

Well look at Jesus on the Mount of Olives, saying to the Father: I will take the cup. He took it for you. he loved you so much that he did that for you. You are loved, by the only One in the universe whose love matters eternally. He loves you!

The reflective questions hit me quite hard, they make you dig quite deep and go into yourself personally. This is what we need to do to make our faith true through and through to really begin to change. It asked me to be really honest with myself and say where I have gone wrong repeatedly and ask for help to change ourselves because we cannot do it alone. The one question that hit me really hard was “When and why do you feel unworthy of love?” As someone with depression you can quickly feel very alone and lost and therefore unloved. Actually as a Christian I don't need to feel that way at all! Jesus loves me unconditionally and I am never without him. That is an amazing fact and I've decided I'm going to put something on the inside of my wallet so that everything I am out and about I know he is there and he loves me! Actually I'm going to put little notes everywhere for myself as a motivation to get out of bed and go show the world how amazing Jesus love is!

I would recommend this book to everyone! All credit to Mike McKinley, fantastic author!

Only £5.03 at the moment! Bargain! https://www.thegoodbook.co.uk/passion 

Spiritual Single Service

In an age of feminism we can easily get swept up in power, self love and self service. The HeforShe campaign and I don’t need feminism can distract us from our inner beauty.

The urban dictionary defines new age feminism like this:

 Unlike the old notion of feminism, the new age feminist does not demand to be treated the same way as a man. She demands that the differences between men and women are recognized, understood, and accommodated for.

As Christian women this is not the attractive inner beauty we are taught about through the fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:20 tells us we should not live by; self-ambition, idolatry, jealousy and hatred. Instead we are told that the fruits of the spirit show; love, joy, peace, self control, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and patience.

When we sort out our inner beauty our willingness to serve should follow, serving and submitting makes us no weaker than anyone else, however it shows a strength and a courage above all. Remember Christ came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.

We serve because we are on a passionate pursuit for Christ, not for self ambition.

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So, what task has God given you?

This could be miles away from your comfort zone, it could be away from home, it could be your next door neighbor.

Don’t let stubbornness, anxiety, pride or fear get in the way. We need to prayerfully consider what God has planned for us and go for it! We should enjoy our freedom to serve God whilst we are still single!

The definition of a servant;

One who is doing the will of another with resources of another for the benefit of another.

Cosette Conway