It has been a year since I last posted on this blog. 
But I haven't been sure what to post, a lot has happened. We've bought a house, we now have a puppy, moved churches a few times, been on holiday, decorated the house. So many things. 

I guess the one thing you could say, is God has been a constant. That is wonderful. It's been such a roller coaster with my mental health and to be able to say God is a constant is what has helped me the most it is the most comforting thing.

My mother in law shared the most comforting and hardest to settle with passage at church on Sunday. First Jesus said store up treasures in heaven, then he goes on to say: 
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

How do you managed to live these truths out. Because it's easy to know the theology. We know the facts, but on Monday, Tuesday, on dark days when I can't get out of bed, when I'm in a room full of people and anxious thoughts come in. 

The only answer I can give is by the spirit living in me. I have to trust that by God working in me, I can daily begin to be shaped to trust him more and more. It is not something that I can do myself, it is all up to my father, to work in me. He will protect me, he will nourish me, most of all he will provide spiritual food for me. I must only seek his kingdom, to seek what he wishes for me to do, to serve him. He will provide the rest. 

So how do I live these truths out? Continuous prayer, Ask God to work in me to draw me into his comfort and teach me to hand him my anxiety.

This is not an overnight change, this will take my whole life and is a continuous work in me. But I need to take comfort that God is my constant, God will sustain me. Everything else may change, shift, move. God will not. I must rest in that truth.